Oh my goodness, has this been an eye opening week for me! Of course, counting Sunday as part of the past week, it has indeed been a constant push and pull on my faith and life's greatest joys. To my understanding there are some new things in my life that I'm being called to act upon and I hope I can get through this slump with God's awesome blessings. However, how do you know when you're being called to do something new and different? Perhaps I can help you out with that, or maybe I can't. It all depends on what you think, so read on if you like.
First off, I had been thinking deeply ever since last Wednesday. The worship night that quite literally ended with a bang, in a cymbal crash sense. But also a figurative sense, my heart's desires and my life's principles had been tested that night and I could feel my heart being crushed in evil's grip. Dramatic? Probably. But just to express the darkness of the situation. There are still some images of that night that continue to burn through my mind, and I'm tempted to become depressed every time they flash through my thoughts. I lost so much of my life's joy that night, as well as gaining some great qualities needed for my life. I do know this however: God answered a prayer of mine that I desperately asked for and it is usually one of the hardest things to accomplish on one's own. I almost made a rash decision that night. Just like the night so long ago, when my best bud was the only one who told me to stop because God had better plans for my life. I bawled out in front of my house, sitting on the grass with the burning desire to run away because I had been hurt so badly. God stopped me, I rediscussed things with my best bud, and all seemed fine. I still felt empty, but at least my life was saved again.
What does this have to do with the title, you ask? "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance."-James 1:2-3. I encountered one of the toughest tests of my life that night, and now I am learning how to deal with life's problems without having to depend on my friends all the time. Perhaps you've been stuck on something that happened so long ago and it hurt and burdened you so much throughout your life even if all is forgiven. You're scarred by the horrible event and your depression is an effect of that cause. God can show you what you're meant for as long as you're willing to trust in Him to show you what the first step is to take. Let's continue on the progress of the situation.
For the first time in my life, I felt like not speaking with my best bud for a while. I had the idea to purposely avoid the guy for the next two weeks, but something stopped me. The guy was hurting, and I still had to be there for him, even if he didn't want my help. I wished him a nice farewell for the weekend, and for a while, my mind had been blank. The worries of my life had disappeared as well as the joys of my life. It was like a new slate had been created in my mind; and the first thought that came to my mind when I left for Dallas during that Friday, "I wonder what God has planned for me next." I sat in the car and read my new book I had been recommended, and I enjoyed the time I spent in Dallas for the weekend as well as leaving the weight of Frisco behind.
I came back earlier today and I went to church with a hopeful and excited mindset. The message was basically saying how Jesus healed anyone and everyone no matter what their past was, what they've accomplished, and those with enough faith to believe in Jesus' miracles. It was about how every child has learned that if we don't win, we're not entitled to anything that the "winners" at life obtain. I was strongly impacted and inspired by this message today, and suddenly I felt the desire to help others who needed healing. This desire faded with time throughout the day as that wednesday night came across my mind again. I was shocked about it coming back! But then a new thought came to my mind saying, "Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it and learn from it." I went back in my mind and studied the differences of today compared to every Sunday. My best bud hadn't spoken a word to me at all this weekend. I sat behind him in church and he didn't even speak a greeting. I didn't go to his house and have lunch like I normally did, and my former girlfriend gave me a ride home. What did I interpret from all of this? A new task given to me by God's way of speaking to me. But that's for another time.
Right now, God may be calling you to do something you're not normally accustomed to, and even the oddest thoughts that flash through your mind may be a way of Him telling you what he wishes you to do. Perhaps you're doing something you're not normally used to doing. Your schedule suddenly becomes less of a routine and you take time to realize the real purpose behind the day. I found my new task just because God gave me the time to separate from all the things that burdened me. I realized it today, and now I know what my next step is. Sorry for being vague, but once again the story's for another time.
Take time to trace your unusual steps and you'll probably come to a conclusion about your next step in your life. Hopefully, you find the next step forward in God's path for your life to greatness and blessing.
Thank you.
No comments:
Post a Comment