Forgive my delaying of writing blogs for however long it has been since my last one. I've been very caught up in all this band business, but thankfully there's a short break now, and hopefully I can get back to blogging regularly again when inspiration strikes me. Let's start this thing off as so:
This past week and today have probably been part of one of the most life changing events in my life! So many positive things and so much happiness that has appeared as if out of nowhere and unexpectedly at the right time for my life. I had been praying to God over the Spring Trip in Missouri every single day for God to help me make my life a more exciting and better life to keep living, and when we came back, my prayers were answered.
The first thing that occurred was when I went to band rehearsal during my first half of the day at school, and my band director had decided to play us a new piece that she had in mind for the famous spring concert. The name of the piece, The Hounds of Spring by Alfred Reed, and no doubt the first time I heard it, I felt this immense feeling of happiness well up inside me. This sort of warm, cozy feeling that gave you the feeling of the weather on a perfect spring day, and I knew then this would be my new favorite piece. A week later and here I am, technique and playing down and ready to move on to something better, but still a huge fan of the piece. God definitely was sending me a message that day to be more positive, and possibly more "springy" in my life without any need for awkward feelings or suspicions or even worry. Little did I know about this message until later in the week.
Then came Wednesday. I wasn't expecting anything momentous to happen or take place that day really; I recall being bored and wanting some kind of energized boost and a desperate want for God that kept persisting in my thoughts the entire day until school was done. Once school got out and I went to my best bud's house like the usual Wednesday, something changed about me that I'll never forget. I felt this heaviness drop itself on me, I felt loneliness settle in my heart and start ripping it apart, and soon dark thoughts started to prevail in my mind. It wasn't long before my best bud's mom started taking notice and tried to help, and soon enough my best bud realized it too at the dinner table when I didn't say a word. "Despondent" he called it. And it was true, I felt so heavy and depressed and it was because of some dumb reason I only half remember now. I walked to church earlier than usual because for one, it was part of my duties as part of the leadership team, and second, I felt I needed to get out before I really did something I would regret (not that I had any intentions to act on these thoughts).
I went on with my day and craved for something good to happen, I begged God to take the darkness away from my heart and to help me make amends with my friend. I went inside the church, almost dropping everything at the entrance and putting on a fake smile in the lighter environment that slowly started seeping its way into my heart. I kept not responding to my best bud at the beginning of service; not because I was mad at him, but that I was afraid of saying something to only make matters worse. I sat down in a different row as there was no room for me to sit on his. Then came the unexpected event that changed my night.
An old friend of mine whom I had never really spoken to very often sat down next to me, and I almost jumped in my seat. I was told he missed that day of school because his great grandparents passed away and he was at the funeral. Somehow, my heart lifted and the first thought that came to my mind was, drop everything that happened earlier today and be there for this friend. My mind was set on changing my thoughts toward a more positive outlook in order to help the grieving process of my friend. When the time for worship came, I felt little affect me, but I did feel God's presence around me as if He were waiting for me to take notice and do something different than the usual. We sat back down, and my friend started talking to me while the sermon was going on. He started talking about his great grandparents and their deaths, and even showed me a picture of them. I wanted to cry and give him a comforting hug that would be fully intended to help him because I saw the hurt in his face and I knew the reason he came to church, to ease the pain.
The sermon gripped my attention that night. If there was one thing in my life that I needed to let go of the most, it was my thoughts about my friendships and all the worries in my life associated with them, and how I depend on my friends so much. The sermon was about putting God first in our lives, and although I had heard the sermon preached many times with different words and scriptures, this one had the greatest impact on me. It was because that night my mind had been so preoccupied with my bond I had with my best friend, and it was something I had always worried about ever since we became best buds. But I felt God put His hand on my shoulder and saying, "let go of Him. Do not worry any longer; I will keep your friendship alive". At that moment, I opened my closed hand in the air and I felt the heaviness disappear instantly and all the worries associated with it. I tried to think of one negative thought about my best friend and I, and my mind wouldn't allow it, only the good prevailed! That was when I felt the presence of God once again comforting me and my sudden realization that God really can perform miracles for anybody.
I later talked to my best bud that night with the biggest smile on my face I hadn't had since we were first friends. I could tell he realized it as well because soon it became contagious and he too began smiling like a total goofball. I said nothing that night that had any bad meaning or ill intentions. Just these words, "You're still my best friend, and I love you." And with that he seemed to beam with happiness and we did our handshake and said our goodnight farewells. I walked to the door with a kick in my step and a light in my heart, convinced that this night would mark one of the most pivotal changing points in my life.
The day after, my old friend I sat beside at church the day before messaged me on Facebook. It was totally unexpected, but I knew the reason behind him contacting me. Why me, I had no idea. He started pouring out his heart and thoughts to me, risking all he had left to lose. I took it upon myself to start talking to him about how much God loves Him and his great grandparents that passed away and that they will be happier living with God. My friend started opening up a little more, and I felt more words coming from my mouth that I didn't even realize I was speaking, but he soon told me it was as if he was hearing the words from God himself. Soon enough after a long encouraging discussion, my friend's attitude on faith and our friendship had drastically changed for the better. He soon realized how awesome God really is and how thankful he was to have friends that could support him. I felt so much joy out of helping him that night, and it gave me newfound confidence in my abilities to help people through God and also more assurance for God's calling in my life. I also gained a new friend somewhat, and I'm glad God continues to help me and my friends find new opportunities.
The week passed by quickly afterwards and nothing exciting really seemed to occur other than that my happiness was still beaming. Then after school on Friday, my distant friend in Arkansas had told me about his miracle that he had experienced. Apparently, he couldn't go on his band's trip to Florida because unfortunately he couldn't pay for it. I knew he had really wanted to go, and I felt that he should, so I had been praying for something to happen for quite a while. He told me that his band directors had told him that they wanted him to go on the trip, so he gets to go for free. Imagine! How often does this occur for high school band students? Extremely rare, as far as I know! I could feel the joyous presence of his voice emanating from the texts he kept sending in his ecstatic state. I felt like jumping for joy as well because it seemed as if miracle after miracle kept coming along and God was having a field day in not just my life, but my friends as well!
Easter Sunday. My life felt great and I immediately felt something I hadn't experienced in the Easters of the past 16 years of my life. God was there every step I took, and I knew today would be a great one. Now one comment before I go on, my dad's church is not exactly my idea of a great place to have church service but honestly you can't blame them for the surrounding ambiance of crappy high school auditorium. I didn't feel very moved when singing, but the sermon did open my eyes for me. John 19-20. Both chapters needing the other to provide us with the story behind Easter and the two chapters that really flipped my day upside down, in a good way. I was reminded of the suffering Jesus endured and my heart kept getting pulled and pinched by the compassion I felt for my Lord. Yet at the mention of His resurrection, I felt like jumping out of my seat and rejoicing the good name of the Lord for all to hear. Amen, and glory and thanks be to God and the king of all kings! For my week had been a miracle stacked upon each other every day and I knew that if it weren't for Christ I wouldn't be living such a wonderful life. I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of my today with one ending thought: Thank You God, and Thank You Jesus for dying for me and taking away my sin and now I will continue to love and worship you just as you love me.
And what do I do next now that my life has gotten so much better? I have given it much thought during the week, and I came upon this decision when reflecting back on the situations that used to be problems but were now resolved thanks to God. Now that my life has become better and I'm happier than I've been in a while, it's now someone else's turn. It's never about me, and it never was. It's about God and doing His work by sharing His love and compassion for those who are suffering that are closest to my life so that they too may experience God like I do now. God, the one who can change the lives of millions and millions on top of a million times a million people at the instant they start truly believing and trusting Him with their lives. Christ has risen indeed and He is proof of God's amazing miracles and God's awesome. For no one is greater than He. Praise be to You, God!
Thank you for reading this. God bless all of you.
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