But is it possible that we can be so driven by these so called desires that we lose sight of what is most important and essential to our lives? Is it not possible that many become selfish, greedy, obsessed, or crazy over such "important" ideals and thoughts? I am not saying that it is wrong to have them, but to be careful as they could be another way to corrupt and manipulate us from the awesome and amazing life that God has promised us. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."-Luke 12:34 Instead of wanting something that takes away the ability to benefit others around you; why not give up that want and help to better the lives of others? Surely, that way you can be happier knowing that you probably benefited another's life who also had a wish that seemed impossible. Because our treasures are in heaven, and therefore our hearts should be there as well.
My last blog post, if you read it, was rejoicing about how I finally confirmed that God finally answered my prayers in my life that I wanted so much. He gave me the best friend for life I had always wanted, the happiness that I had been searching years for, and the solace and peace that I struggled for knowing my friends weren't truly happy until a certain occurrence.
With bringing it up I make this point, I took God answering my most wanted prayers for granted and thought I'd have even more answered. I didn't realize until a little while after that I was being turned into the sulky sinful person I struggled not to become yet again. I became selfish and started to lose sight of what was important. God gave me an opportunity to realize my wrongdoings, yet I didn't listen. It wasn't until yesterday when talking to my best bud's girlfriend that I had finally gotten a smack to the face and a reality check.
I spent a few hours last night battling it out with the dark thoughts that haunted me and crying out to God apologizing and asking for forgiveness of my sinful thinking and my selfish desires. Just as I was feeling myself at the pit of despair, I made a realization and finally perked up. Emily came over and surprised me and suddenly I lost all bad feelings I had before. God had come through the darkness and given me a light to look at in my struggle. Later that night, I had a changed perspective and talked it over with my best bud, but we never discussed what had sparked my dark thoughts in the first place and finally it seemed like everything in my life was returning to that remarkable happiness that God filled me with a little over a month ago.
I woke up this morning groggy and tired from the dreams that haunted me as if I was still struggling. So I went for a run and spent that constructive hour and ten minutes to think over what I had learned and what would be the right thing to do. Then suddenly my heart tugged at me and I found myself speaking the words "Help him, God. Help him to have his desires fulfilled. If it is in your will God, I will do everything I can to help if he so wishes it. I sacrifice all I want for the benefit of helping him so that he can continue to enjoy his happiness." A silent prayer under my breath that was spontaneously spoken without any planning beforehand. And as I walked back listening to "Lucky" on my mp3 player I soon realized, that is truly what I wanted. I am to live out my first principle again: Sacrifice your wants and desires for the benefit of your loved ones.
My faith has been held steady, I am strong and determined and courageous. No darkness can take me down; no shadow can extinguish the light of my life that is Jesus Christ. I am inspired by my burning heart that is ignited by the love and compassion and grace that is from God and Jesus. I care not for my life so long as I live out God's word and act as Jesus did. I want to be more like Jesus by helping others and that is my passion. I'd sacrifice the many things I want because I know God will create a better life for me along the way with the things He has promised me, my awesome best bud, my lovely girlfriend, and my amazing close friends who strengthen my faith everyday. I am dead to sin, and Christ lives within me, and I shall do my best to help out my loved ones as much as my limits and God will allow.
Thank you for reading, but keep in mind; sacrifice is just one step of many in continuing to follow God.
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