The First Big Steps:Sacrifice - July 18, 2011

We always want something, whether it be a desire, a treasure, a passion, a want, a wish. Whatever you wish to call it, it is such and no one person is alone without at least one which drives them to do the many actions that build their lives. 

But is it possible that we can be so driven by these so called desires that we lose sight of what is most important and essential to our lives? Is it not possible that many become selfish, greedy, obsessed, or crazy over such "important" ideals and thoughts? I am not saying that it is wrong to have them, but to be careful as they could be another way to corrupt and manipulate us from the awesome and amazing life that God has promised us. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."-Luke 12:34 Instead of wanting something that takes away the ability to benefit others around you; why not give up that want and help to better the lives of others? Surely, that way you can be happier knowing that you probably benefited another's life who also had a wish that seemed impossible. Because our treasures are in heaven, and therefore our hearts should be there as well. 

My last blog post, if you read it, was rejoicing about how I finally confirmed that God finally answered my prayers in my life that I wanted so much. He gave me the best friend for life I had always wanted, the happiness that I had been searching years for, and the solace and peace that I struggled for knowing my friends weren't truly happy until a certain occurrence. 

With bringing it up I make this point, I took God answering my most wanted prayers for granted and thought I'd have even more answered. I didn't realize until a little while after that I was being turned into the sulky sinful person I struggled not to become yet again. I became selfish and started to lose sight of what was important. God gave me an opportunity to realize my wrongdoings, yet I didn't listen. It wasn't until yesterday when talking to my best bud's girlfriend that I had finally gotten a smack to the face and a reality check.

I spent a few hours last night battling it out with the dark thoughts that haunted me and crying out to God apologizing and asking for forgiveness of my sinful thinking and my selfish desires. Just as I was feeling myself at the pit of despair, I made a realization and finally perked up. Emily came over and surprised me and suddenly I lost all bad feelings I had before. God had come through the darkness and given me a light to look at in my struggle. Later that night, I had a changed perspective and talked it over with my best bud, but we never discussed what had sparked my dark thoughts in the first place and finally it seemed like everything in my life was returning to that remarkable happiness that God filled me with a little over a month ago. 

I woke up this morning groggy and tired from the dreams that haunted me as if I was still struggling. So I went for a run and spent that constructive hour and ten minutes to think over what I had learned and what would be the right thing to do. Then suddenly my heart tugged at me and I found myself speaking the words "Help him, God. Help him to have his desires fulfilled. If it is in your will God, I will do everything I can to help if he so wishes it. I sacrifice all I want for the benefit of helping him so that he can continue to enjoy his happiness." A silent prayer under my breath that was spontaneously spoken without any planning beforehand. And as I walked back listening to "Lucky" on my mp3 player I soon realized, that is truly what I wanted. I am to live out my first principle again: Sacrifice your wants and desires for the benefit of your loved ones. 

My faith has been held steady, I am strong and determined and courageous. No darkness can take me down; no shadow can extinguish the light of my life that is Jesus Christ. I am inspired by my burning heart that is ignited by the love and compassion and grace that is from God and Jesus. I care not for my life so long as I live out God's word and act as Jesus did. I want to be more like Jesus by helping others and that is my passion. I'd sacrifice the many things I want because I know God will create a better life for me along the way with the things He has promised me, my awesome best bud, my lovely girlfriend, and my amazing close friends who strengthen my faith everyday.  I am dead to sin, and Christ lives within me, and I shall do my best to help out my loved ones as much as my limits and God will allow. 

Thank you for reading, but keep in mind; sacrifice is just one step of many in continuing to follow God.

God Answers Prayers-July 4th, 2011

I'm long over due for a blog post! I've been inspired so many times, and yet I've forgotten to write. So here's something I felt the need to write that is also long overdue.


About a little more than two weeks ago, on one particular Wednesday, it was one that would change my life in something for the better. On that faithful day after Epic, I had to be understanding when it came to James not coming to church. I had just met this girl named Abby, who he seemed to really be fond of, and I barely knew anything about her, but strangely enough, she seemed really trustworthy even though I had only known her for a couple of days. So throughout our routinely night conversation on Wednesdays he was texting Abby and I was trying to be understanding and in the end I was getting happier by the second; even though originally I had been mad at James.

And then James pulls the ultimate card on me and says "Clark, I really like her. And you're my best friend, and I need your support on this. You're the only one who knows right now, and I must know what you think of her." My first thought was, "Wait a minute, he just called me his best friend. The very honor I've bestowed upon him and never got in return; until now. This girl, I mean Abby, must have really changed him somehow. Could it be that God has finally answered my prayers?" And then I looked into James eyes and said "I'm really your best friend? But you told me you'll never have any. When did you decide on this?" And he replied with a goofy smile on his face, "Well, I've always thought you were a good friend, but Abby convinced me about how much of a true friend you are to me. So now, you're my best friend." "You know, I think I'm really going to like this Abby girl, I owe her one."  So we said our goodbyes and we both left with a huge smile on our face. I felt as if God was with me with each step I took until I got into my bedroom and decided to go to sleep early, but not before I prayed to God and thanked him for how awesome it was the he finally answered my prayer.

I had been awaiting the answer to my prayer for many years, and it was that day it was finally answered. I haven't been any happier since the first time I met James and knew he was the one God destined me to be best buds with and since that day, it's been ultimately confirmed. But the happiness didn't stop there, my friends, now he had a girlfriend, and I had to make sure this girl was all the James had told me she was and still is to this day.

A few days later, Abby and I had begun talking a little each day since we were practically forced to meet each other. As the days passed, my acceptance of her became stronger and stronger. But then I started growing fond of her as well, but int he friendly sense. She was becoming a great person to talk to and because I trusted her so easily we talked about so many nice things, and so I decided, wow I have a new friend. The more I thought about it and seeing how happy Abby made James, it came to me in so many ways...I prayed that God keep giving me understanding and I concluded, Abby was someone that God had destined for James to meet in his life. The exact purpose, I'm not entirely sure, but I could tell another prayer was answered.

Let's not forget one more important detail in my life, Emily. I had began to be fond of Emily again and again and I was so afraid of breaking my word that I would never date her again and being heartbroken again. I prayed every night since last banquet for God to give me a sign. The fact that James kept pushing me to be with Emily was not the sign I was looking for; and then James started liking Abby. This was the sign I was looking for as Cody also got into a relationship. My two best friends who were done with dating and lived the single life philosophy found exceptions and gave in to their feelings of love. I decided to stop being so stubborn and did the same. That same Wednesday night I found out I'm James' best friend, I asked Emily as soon as we got out of Epic. I said the lyrics to Falling For You by Colbie Cailat, and she was completely dumbfounded, but then we embraced and James drove around the corner so I made a run for it and said bye, talk to you later! I'll never forget how she laughed and just kinda shoved it off.

So yes, now thanks to God, I'm now James's best friend, in a relationship with Emily, and made a new friend who is also James' girlfriend, Abby. Life is great and I'm enjoying all the happiness I receive everyday. Thank You God! Keep answering those prayers of my friends as I've no more to be fulfilled now. Now it's my turn to help my friends to be happy with their lives, and I'll gladly lay down my life to this cause.


Short blog post, dang, but it's still something, so I hope you enjoy the read! Thanks for reading, I hope to make more blog posts again!